Make Your Introduction Declarative, Not a Question
Instead of asking, “Do you remember me?”—which can be stressful—use a simple, direct introduction. If you are slipping into a question, try turning it into a statement instead. Here’s a helpful formula:
“Hi [Name], I’m [Your Name], and [your connection or shared memory].
For example:
- I’m John, Kevin’s friend and Clare’s son.
- I’m Amanda; you used to give me chocolate chip cookies when we were neighbors.
- This is my daughter, Maddie.
We also remind friends and family, especially those with young kids our mom only sees a few times a year, that she might not recognize them between visits. Kids grow and change so much, and it’s been seven years since her diagnosis.
What to Talk About Next?
Since our mom can no longer lead conversations, we provide friends and family with a few topics to keep the conversation going. We usually email this list before their visit, but if that’s not possible, we introduce these topics on the spot to keep the conversation flowing. Here are some ideas that work well with our mom:
- Compliments: We mention a recent haircut or mani/pedi so they can compliment her. It always brings a smile to her face and lifts her mood.
- Exercise: Our mom has a love-hate relationship with exercise. She walks on the treadmill 3 to 4 times a week and starts complaining when she breaks a sweat!
- Cooking: We’ll share that she helped prepare the food we brought so they can tell her how delicious it is. For our mom, food is love.
- Flowers: We talk about the flowers she recently arranged—she does it like a professional florist!
- Golden Girls: Golden Girls is her favorite TV show—she loves Dorothy, but Sophia drives her crazy!
- Hallmark Channel: She loves Hallmark movies because they always end with a kiss.
Staying connected with your loved one is so important. With these simple tips, you can create more meaningful interactions that bring comfort and joy to both of you.
